or is time passing by at a pace that NO ONE can keep up?!?! I feel like I open my eyes on Monday morning- run like a hamster on a wheel for a little bit- and boom- it is Friday. I have been going through the kids clothes from last spring/summer and fought off tears when I found some of Kaden's newborn things that I didn't even know I had packed away. The child is 10 1/2 months old!
I just had him.... where in the world has all the time went!! That little baby boy that I brought home into our chaotic world (God bless its lil' heart ;) is now walking along anything he can pull up to! (and who forgot to send me that memo reminding me that little crawlers can pull open all drawers and cabinets and empty all the contents in 10.5 seconds flat??!... whoever you are.... your fired!)
I really do try to stop every now and again and soak it all in that these little bitty kids I have running around my house, screaming my name, drinking my drink, spilling my drink, pulling my skirt, holding my hand... they are actually making my day. They are my life. I told my friend this week that I know I complain about the craziness of having 3 little ones running around and making me the looney person I am- but then I want them all to stay this way. I don't know how raising "big kids" will be- but raising "little kids" makes me question myself everyday. I prayed this week and asked the Lord to help me (My words "I don't know what I am doing") I know how to feed, bathe, clothe, pet, scold.....but I worry alot about the outcome of these little lives I have in my care. Do I do enough? Do I do it right? Do I guide them wisely? To me it is best put like this.... I have always said when you get married no one lets you know in the winter your light bill is going to double- or when your bank account is at $5 your washer WILL brake down on you...... and no one tells you that all these babies you have are going to be grown in a blink of your eye and you feel like you have 5 minutes to do it right..... it wasn't until I was a momma myself that I saw how big a deal it was to see someone go to the alter for the first time- or get in a car and drive off for the first time- or see them get married and move away..... when you are a momma...... oh me..... it hurts to even think about it.....
I am being all serious-kind-of-sentimental..... out of character for me I know.... but I was just thinking about it and felt the need to think outloud (well... you know... typing is as loud as you can get when you have everyone in bed ASLEEP.... I guess I could go read this to all of them....but I don't think they would appreciate it too much right this minute :)